Martyr Mantra

That sense of disappointment knowing all is lost and the future you had planned for is bitten in the dust.

Someday love will guide emotion. The past I’ll leave it where it lies. Focus on the future and it’s freedom, no distractions from the ones I left behind.

The shackles of the past I’ll leave to rust. Running free you won’t see me for dust. Making headway to the horizon, where I’m leving there’s no place for light. I’m living now for my own chance to shine.

The past will shape but it won’t guide my future. Winding on life’s an epic venture. I’m on a journey to the horizon, leaving the shadows far behind me. I’m gonna find the light and I will make it mine.

The present but a moment you can’t spend idle. It’ll soon be past where there’s no going back.Striving on to meet the horizon, the idle days went with the sunset. I’m living in the moment watching for sunrise.

I pass the changes in the turmoil of feeling, rocking stability of its foothold on reality. The Time it takes to think to map it all out in the mind, any opportunity is spurned. So to take a leaf out my own book, to practice what I preach, I must kick the habit of fear.

The rising, the rising of a fall. I don’t feel good at all. I hit the ground hard, life the thraed is falling apart.

You play with fire and you will get burnt. Life is but a lesson hard learnt. Dancing with flames, dicing with pain.

She knows me, knows me all too well. This is my living hell. Every frailty,every broken stitch in the seam.

I’ll be leaving, vacating the space I occupied ‘cos none of our feelings are related. No talking round, no coming to.

Lost time, I feel it drags me under, life just cast asunder. I always look but can never get it back. In the mean time, I’ll just sit and wonder, what lies befor me yonder but hindsight being something that I lack.

Past time, I seem to be getting nowhere, thinking I’d be somewhere. A share in life I don’t get my fair. Bide time, don’t pretend you’re passed caring, no need for despairing. It’ll come it’s just a small cross to bare.

Downtime, right upon the hour, I’ve only half an hour. Better get it in before it’s gone for good. Hard time, efforts been devoured the mood has just been soured. You would give it up but I don’t think you could.

Our time, is spent anticipating. How long have we been waiting? I’m not wise but someone’s watching over me. My time is coming down with symptoms, I’ll work it out me system. I need a cure to set my lost soul free.

High time, well that ideas novel. I spend it in a bottle, writing love and of all the things I lack. So for the last time I’ll speak unnecerssary, don’t go handing me your pity. I could talk but only matter of fact.

Preying on my soul, heart without a home. Hand me round the peace time. Then I’ll answer to the critic, who believes my heart aint in it. They can’t tell it’s my life that’s preying on my soul. I’ll make it on my own.

There’s a void in my chamber she could vacate the space. She doesn’t feel it’s her place. People think I’m just saving face. I just feel giving up spells failure.

Sparks fly in the early hours, losing track of time. Now there’s no time and all sparks have faded. Willing in every sense to keep the faith.

Feelings mutual unlike anything I ‘ve ever felt. Now more lost than ever and I don’t know whats she’s thinking. Doubt won’t see me miss.

If my feelings are true and undoubtedly they are, then she is the one. So to give up now, I ultimately would have failed.

You can’t trust a man who’s sat in the same place as he was two years ago.Writing the same fucking words as he was back then. Some frailty of character, some ignorant bliss. Some big doss of reality has made him feel like this.

You can’t trust a man who holds his head in his hands . Desparing ata the prospect of life before him. A nonchalant smile, a vacant expression. A lack of confidence leaves a lasting impression.

You can’t trust a man who’s words speak louder than his actions. Fooling himself into thinking they hold more weight. Lack of conviction, an empty sentiment. Every word is no term of endearment.

Not something I wish to dwell on, driving meself mad sick on love.She’s the on-set of my ills, my desire. The one where I forget where I’m from.

There’s somewhere I long to be, getting frustrated ‘cos we are growing apart. She’s the one my heart thinks of, skips for, the one that I no longer see.

Labour of love, I work up a sweat, excerting meself I know it ain’t a sprint. She’s the answer to exhaustion, gonna keep on trying ‘cos the gain out weighs the loss.

Heart on my sleeve I’m led to believe it’s for something I am missing. Arms open wide a gulf in my pride. I’m missing something non-existant.

A girl that opens up, I thought that it was me but I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A frank and honest conversation it led to deceive. How I feel such a fool to speak of hearts desire.

Do you ever get the feeling you’ve outstayed your welcome? ‘Cos what I was thinking trust was ment in jest.

The heart it sang itself, emotion it dealt and doubt has me believeing it’s misled. The heart it wrote for love and got nothing in return. A rough justice from someone held in high regard.

I took a look outside my window and saw that life was cold. My sadness, my anger my misery they’ve all taken hold. I surpress all emotion, I keep it to myself ‘cos I don’t know how to deal with the loss of someone else.

The feelings they build they esculate beyond my own control. ‘Til the only way to deal with is to lash out then fold. But this ain’t constructive, it ain’t how I wish to cope. I should be held comforted but I haven’t got a hope.

Life was once so beautiful for a love that would never die. I wish I could have held it close but instead I let it pass me by. Complacent to the knowledge that all things must come to pass. Thinking she’d be here forever now I’m living from the past.

A life where a light shone brightly faded in it’s passing days. It was God who took pity on your suffering and God who ended your misery. So we count our blessings that he didn’t prolong your pain. For anguish would have had me believeing life was lived in vain.

Can’t do things the way I want them, it’s eating up my time. But I’ll play patient no matter how long it takes. I feel you’re worth wait.

Loves a feeling I adhere to, it’s one I wish to find but you ain’t seeking, it’s not what you want on your mind. You can’t take the pain you feel goes hand in hand.

Why don’t you come round!? Now that I’ve come to. Echo the sentiments I found. Oh why don’t you come round!? Now that I’ve come to. Show the love that I found. Oh why don’t you come round!? Why won’t you come round!?

We’ve laid the foundations a basis from which to start but construction has been halted and there’s no time to which it should restart. I need somewhere I can call home, I just want somewhere to belong. I want to make your heart my home.

There’s more fulfillment when I feel ecstatic, instead of running on automatic. The lights are dim and are fading slowly. You decide to stop and do things your way.

You get so sick of acting static, so you think fuck it just let them have it. The lights are blinding and are shinning for you. It’s all you dreamt and it’s long over due.

You can’t stand this static motion, yet your hearts still open to devotion. They’re tying you down, pinned to the ground. You can’t be bound you’ll make your sound.

Can’t understand why you take this action, as it gives me no satisfaction. The lights are there and they see you coming. You’re casting shadows and they know you’re something.

The sun shines on me, I’m gonna make it my day. Why don’t you let me be!? Just get outta my way. I can’t see the future, I can’t make you pay. I’m gonna live to be free, no matter what you say.

The grass is greener where I stand, you wanna be in my shoes. It maybe hard to understand, I can’t sing the blues. There’s no room for you in my plans, I’ve got news for you. I’m sorry it’s outta my hands get to the back of the Queue.

It ain’t no dream, it’s my reality. You may have lost interest, you may have stopped to breathe. You see it’s my time, I’ve gotta make it happen. If they don’t, if you don’t. I will, I will, I will, cos I believe.

Won’t you let me be!? I might not know my mind but I know what goes on inside.

It never rains for me, it can’t dappen my spirit. You see it’s plain to see, it ain’t an option to Quit. I can’t let it be, I wouldn’t know where to sit. You might as well agree, I’m the star that shines at day.

A scream rings out around the town, but nobody cares to hear it. I hang my head in shame as it read, you can not get by on your own.

A love led from a look in a glass. It’s not going anywhere far. It takes much more than that to ensure, that there’s no turning back.

A sweet song sang as it echoed our plans. The sentiments not lost on me. But there was no meaning, nothing between the lines. He’s punched himself again in the pride.

She disturbs my sleep to tease my needs. Off loads all her desires upon which I wanna feed but I’m not the lover she wants to receive. Makes me feel ashamed of my hearts desires greed.

Emotion be devotion, it’s the only notion that comes to fore. Idealism ain’t realism, romantacise the thought.

She destroys my peace of mind by existing. Gives me a look and now I know I’ve missed it ‘cos I’m not the lover in her eyes defeating. All my desires upon her are left wanting.

She cries for a lover and I’m overlooked. Tells me all she’s missing and I’m overtook but I’m not the lover with which she is smitten. She’s an idea of her ideal man and I’m not befitting.

I’m a martyr to the cause it beats within my heart. I’ll fight in all the wars ‘cos I’ll die for my art. There’s no confining walls that can keep me apart. Every brick will feel the force integrity, belief, no facade.

I will heed the sacred words, battle call me; coup de grace. Come on bastard do your worst. I don’t care to come to any harm.

You can’t fight a war with empty words. The war won’t be won you’ll just be immersed. If you’ve nothing to die for, than you’ve nothing to live for. If you’ve no sacred for which to aspire, than you have lost and they have won and I’m not inspired.

Mind at rest conscience clear, I know no man I have to fear. For my beliefs I will bleed my last dying wish and my creed.

The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.

Dying young before your time, what a waste, what a crime. In my own blood I sign the deeds as every word in I believe.

I’ve got nothing to say that can excuse my actions in any way. So I make no apologies. You wouldn’t believe me, you think I’m born to deceive.

You can’t see what is obvious to me ‘cos I will never show. You can’t fear something you don’t know. So I will never tell my truth. Oh faux pas!

I don’t claim to be a saint, I know you think it’s the case but it ain’t. No false modesty on my part. Me and the truth, you can’t tell us apart.

A man who can’t admit he made a mistake doesn’t intend to do right at all.

I keep mine hidden that’s the case. I can’t open up for fear of finding disgrace. Last nights misdemeanors I’d rather forget. If you think that that’s the worst, you ain’t seen nothing yet.